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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27591179">Storm Clouds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack'>SadieandJack</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CSI: Crime Scene Investigation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:14:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,466</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27591179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sara is confused about Grissom's mixed signals. When he rejects her again she finds Hank Peddigrew to fill the void. Only he becomes a monster. Can Grissom save her before it is to late?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Storm Clouds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After our case was over with the hockey player I walked over to Grissom's office seeing him sitting at his desk writing a report. He glanced over at me before writing again.</p><p>"Going home?" He asked</p><p>"Actually I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me."</p><p>He stopped writing sitting back in his chair looking at me.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"I don't want to." He said</p><p>"Oh." I said, looking down.</p><p>"Was there anything else?"</p><p>"No." I said, rolling my eyes leaving. I stopped in the hallway going back. He looked over at me again as he wrote. "Grissom, you said you were interested in beauty since you met me. I am getting mixed signals here. Are you interested in me or not?"</p><p>"No, I am not."</p><p>"Fine." I said, leaving.</p><p>I left with a heavy heart confused by Grissom at the ice hockey rink and this one. He sat back in his chair as I left sighing as he played with his pen.</p><p>A few months later I met a paramedic named Hank Peddigrew. We went out and he stayed over on numerous occasions. Then something changed in him. He became mad and in these ugly rants that usually left me bruised.</p><p>All the while this was happening Grissom watched from a distance seeing the distinct change in my behavior. I seemed subdued and scared. I came in late one day seeing him walk over to me at the front desk.</p><p>"You're late." He said</p><p>"I know I am sorry." I said, trying to get past him. I noticed he seemed curious over the bruise on my hairline. His hand came up moving my hair back to look.</p><p>"What happened?" he asked</p><p>"I ran into the door." I said</p><p>"I see, are you okay?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>I slid past him to run to the locker room. He walked back to his office thinking about the situation. In the break room I threw my uneaten meal in the trash seeing Grissom coming in looking at the trash then at me.</p><p>"Not hungry?"</p><p>"No." I said</p><p>He nodded walking over to get some coffee.</p><p>"Sara?"</p><p>I turned looking at him.</p><p>"Come to my office later."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because I want to talk to you."</p><p>"What about?" I asked, putting my arms over my chest.</p><p>"You're in defense mode I think my office would be a better place for this."</p><p>"Fine." I said, leaving.</p><p>Later he watched me come in shutting the door. I walked over sitting down staring at him. He got up walking over sitting next to me in a chair.</p><p>"Sara, I think you know what I wanted to talk about."</p><p>"No." I said</p><p>"Okay, I wanted to talk about these injuries you keep getting."</p><p>"I can't help it if I am clumsy."</p><p>"Ordinarily I would agree with you, but these seem to be deliberately done. I know you are in a relationship."</p><p>"I don't want to talk about this." I said, looking down.</p><p>"Never the less I think we need to." He said, rubbing his hands together. "Does he hit you?"</p><p>"No." I said, looking down.</p><p>"Then why are you looking down?"</p><p>I sighed looking at him.</p><p>"I know something is going on."</p><p>"Why can't you leave me alone?"</p><p>"I am concerned about you."</p><p>I made a sound getting up.</p><p>"You don't need to be I am fine."</p><p>"Sara, why were you really late this shift?"</p><p>I looked at him a moment.</p><p>"I have to go."</p><p>"We are not done yet." He said</p><p>"Well I am." I said</p><p>My phone rang as I reached down getting it.</p><p>"Sidle."</p><p>Grissom stood as he watched me.</p><p>"Hey, I am coming home soon."</p><p>I looked down listening.</p><p>"I did, I swear I did." I said, quietly. "Babe, I would not do that on purpose….okay, I have to go."</p><p>I hung up sighing looking sad then I recovered looking at Grissom.</p><p>"Are we done?"</p><p>He slowly nodded as I left.</p><p>The next week I called in sick making Grissom worry more. He tried calling me only to get the answering machine. He told Catherine he would be back later as he went to his car driving to my apartment. When he got up to my door a woman in a robe opened her door next door coming over to him.</p><p>"Sir, are you here to see Sara?"</p><p>"Yes, I am her boss and I was worried."</p><p>"Me to, I heard a terrible fight going on between her and this man she sees a few hours ago."</p><p>"I will look into it." He said</p><p>She nodded leaving him alone. He knocked hearing a small voice on the other side asking who it is.</p><p>"Sara, its Grissom."</p><p>"I…I can't see you now."</p><p>"Please open the door."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Sara, I want to see you I am not leaving."</p><p>He waited hearing nothing then my door gently opened and he saw half my face peeking out at him.</p><p>"Satisfied?" I asked</p><p>"No, I want to see all of you."</p><p>"Look can we do this some other time?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>I sighed opening the door more. He came in looking around the dark room. I shut the door standing in the dim light.</p><p>"Why aren't the lights on?"</p><p>"I wanted them off."</p><p>"Is he here?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Good." He said, reaching over beside the door flipping a switch turning the lights on. I hid my face with one hand as I held my body with the other. He saw the bruises on my thin arms. I felt him step closer taking my hand down lifting my face seeing the dark bruises around my mouth and cheek. "Sara."</p><p>I looked down avoiding his eyes.</p><p>"I forgot to give him an important message." I said</p><p>"We should take you to the hospital." He said</p><p>"No, I can't." I said, walking slowly past him.</p><p>"Sara, you could have broken ribs."</p><p>"No, I will be just fine."</p><p>He sighed walking over to me.</p><p>"Sara, did he…rape you?"</p><p>I continued to look down not saying a thing.</p><p>"That does it; we are going to the hospital!" He said, getting a coat putting it over my shoulders.</p><p>"Grissom, no!" I cried</p><p>He never said a word as he steered me to the door. The hospital staff checked me doing a rape test. Grissom waited outside the room. The nurse gave him the kit and he walked out to make a call. I was allowed to leave taking some medicine. Grissom instead drove me to his house. He helped me lay on the couch then he ran off to cook something for me. I moved as he walked over looking at me.</p><p>His cell phone went off and he answered it.</p><p>"Grissom."</p><p>I watched him as he looked down listening.</p><p>"Thank you Catherine." He said, before hanging up.</p><p>"Why did she call?" I asked</p><p>"She worked on the rape kit for me."</p><p>"Look you don't have to tell me." I said</p><p>"I wish I didn't have to."</p><p>He dialed a number putting it to his ear.</p><p>"Now what are you doing?"</p><p>He looked at me waiting.</p><p>"Jim, its Grissom the test was positive."</p><p>I gasped getting up feeling him try to push me down.</p><p>"Call me when you have him."</p><p>"Let me go!" I said, getting up.</p><p>"Sara, it is against the law to…"</p><p>"Don't tell me things I know! I am not pressing charges!"</p><p>"You have to! How many times have I watched you convince a victim to press charges against a man for doing the exact same thing?"</p><p>He pulled me closer to him as I looked down.</p><p>"Sara, what he did was wrong. He violated you against your will. You may think you are in love with him and he needs you, but he really does not care about you. All he wants is that you should back down."</p><p>I continued to look down as he gently touched my arms.</p><p>"What are you going to do?" He asked</p><p>I looked at him then I ran to the spare bedroom laying on the bed. He sighed looking at the closed door down the hallway. Hours later I moved hearing the door open gently. Grissom came in standing at the doorway looking in.</p><p>"Brass wants to see you at the station."</p><p>"Fine." I said</p><p>He nodded closing the door. I sighed looking down. He drove me to the lab then we walked to the police station where Brass ushered me into an interrogation room with Grissom. We sat down as I looked around feeling weird being in the chair the suspects were normally in.</p><p>"Sara, I want you to tell us what happened the day of the incident." Brass said</p><p>I sighed shifting in my seat looking down at my hands in my lap.</p><p>"It started that night. Hank…came over and we ate then sat on the couch to watch TV. As we were watching he turned to me asking me if I got the ice cream he liked. I forgot. He got up and I could tell he was upset."</p><p>"Go on." Brass said</p><p>"He…went into the bedroom coming out walking over to me. I moved back into the couch seeing he was holding his favorite shirt out for me to see. He said he told me to wash it, but he found it on the floor next to the hamper which meant I didn't. He yanked me up hitting me over and over until he just walked out the door."</p><p>"Where did he go?" Grissom asked</p><p>"A bar he likes."</p><p>"Okay, what happened then?" Brass asked</p><p>"I went to sleep in bed jumping when I heard the front door slam shut. I remember it was four in the morning. He comes in reeking of alcohol. I watched him even though I pretended to sleep. He falls on top of me and I thought he passed out. I was wrong. I tried to get him off me, but he began to…."</p><p>"What?" Brass asked</p><p>I closed my eyes taking a breath.</p><p>"He began to rape me."</p><p>Grissom looked at Brass then at me.</p><p>"After he…what happened then?"</p><p>"He got up and stumbled out the front door. I never saw him again."</p><p>Grissom and Brass stood going out of the room leaving me to cry quietly. Grissom came back in half an hour later telling me it was time to leave. When we got to his place I laid down in his spare room bedroom sleeping. Grissom sat on his couch holding his head with his hands trying to think.</p><p>He looked up as the spare room door opened and I slid out quietly peeking out seeing him. He stood as I walked out slowly looking like I had been crying.</p><p>"You okay?" He asked</p><p>"I…had a nightmare."</p><p>"Come here." He said</p><p>I went without any protest feeling his arms pull me against him. I felt safe in his strong arms. Smoothing my cheek against his shirt as his head rested on mine. Grissom sat us back on the couch lying down beside me. He moved my hair looking at me as I closed my eyes sleeping.</p><p>The phone rang and Grissom got it as I still slept on the couch. He walked into his bedroom talking then he came out looking at me sighing. I woke sitting up ten minutes later seeing Grissom dressed for work standing by the chair looking at me.</p><p>"Where are you going?" I asked</p><p>"Work."</p><p>I rubbed my arm standing.</p><p>"Can you take me home and I can change?"</p><p>"I thought you could stay here and rest."</p><p>I looked at him as he looked at me.</p><p>"I appreciate the offer, but I should really go home." I said</p><p>"Sara, I want you to take some time off."</p><p>"Grissom, I want to work."</p><p>"No." He said</p><p>I walked over to him standing face to face.</p><p>"I need to work right now. I can't just stay home!"</p><p>"No." He said "I will take you home, but not to work."</p><p>"Don't bother." I said, walking past him. He sighed watching me go to the spare room and dress. I came out looking at him then I went to the door.</p><p>"Sara?" He said, walking over to me.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I want to help you."</p><p>"I don't need you anymore." I said</p><p>He took hold of my arm as I tried to leave.</p><p>"Sara, please let me help you."</p><p>I looked down as he let my arm go.</p><p>"You are angry, and scared. If you need to let that out on me then I am here, but I cannot allow you to work right now."</p><p>I looked at his chest feeling tears go down my cheeks. He pulled me to him walking back to the couch.</p><p>"I won't go to work. I will stay with you."</p><p>I nodded against his chest feeling comforted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Grissom could feel me relax after I had cried against him for a good ten minutes. He felt bad for me and my situation. Now as he held me and it felt right to him. My breathing slowed allowing him to think about the future. He laid me back on his couch lifting my legs up then he got a blanket putting it over me. Getting his cell phone he dialed work telling them he would not be in.</p><p>I woke hour's later smelling food. Grissom was in the kitchen. He turned seeing me looking at him from the doorway.</p><p>"Hey." He said</p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p>"Making dinner. I have scrambled eggs and peppers and mushrooms."</p><p>"I'm not really hungry." I said</p><p>"You haven't eaten yet."</p><p>"I don't want any." I said, walking out. He came out seeing me shivering looking out of a window in the living room. He walked over slowly touching my back with his hand while coming to stand next to me.</p><p>He looked at me as I looked down.</p><p>"I….am stupid." I said</p><p>"No, you're not."</p><p>He pulled me to face him.</p><p>"I am, because I let this get out of control."</p><p>"Sara, this was not your fault." He said, touching my cheek.</p><p>"Then why do I feel horrible?"</p><p>"Because you were…violated."</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>"He had no right to touch you or to treat you that way. You need to know that."</p><p>"I just feel alone."</p><p>I looked at him as he searched my eyes.</p><p>"You are not alone."</p><p>I nodded letting him pull me into a hug. He kissed my head rubbing my back.</p><p>"I feel safe with you." I said</p><p>"Good, I want you to." He said</p><p>I lifted my face up to look at him. He smoothed my cheek as he moved closer touching my lips with his. We began to feel each other out then started kissing for real. I put my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer.</p><p>He tilted his head opening his mouth to me. I moaned as he turned it up a notch. Suddenly, his phone started ringing. He groaned moving back grabbing it as I moved my lips along his neck.</p><p>"Grissom." He said, closing his eyes as I found a sensitive spot. "I'll be right there."</p><p>He hung up kissing my neck then he lifted his head looking at me.</p><p>"I have to go."</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"I….don't know, but it was Brass calling."</p><p>"Is it about Hank?" I asked</p><p>"I have to go and see."</p><p>I nodded letting him go. He backed away then walked to the door.</p><p>"Eat something." He said</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>He shut the door and I was alone.</p><p>Grissom walked into the police station seeing Brass waiting in the main room.</p><p>"Okay, tell me what happened." Grissom asked</p><p>"Peddigrew hung himself in his cell." Brass said</p><p>"How?" Grissom asked, walking with him to the cells.</p><p>"Belt."</p><p>"Great." Grissom said</p><p>They entered the cells walking to the last one seeing Hank still sitting against the door with the belt around his neck. Grissom knelt down looking at him sighing. Brass looked at his friend.</p><p>"When did this happen?"</p><p>"An hour ago."</p><p>Grissom rubbed his head standing.</p><p>"This is hardly closure."</p><p>"It is for him." Brass said</p><p>"Not for Sara." Grissom said</p><p>Brass watched Grissom look down at man that violated me.</p><p>"Gil, I know what would give her closure."</p><p>Grissom looked at him.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Tell her you love her."</p><p>Brass walked out leaving Grissom to look down at Hank. I ate a little then I took a shower dressing walking out seeing Grissom standing in the living room looking at me.</p><p>"Sara, have a seat." He said</p><p>I walked over sitting in a chair next to the couch. Grissom sat down in front of me on the coffee table. He took my hands in his taking a breath.</p><p>"What's wrong?" I asked</p><p>"It appears that Hank took his life earlier." He said "He hung himself."</p><p>I looked at him speechless.</p><p>"He did it with a belt."</p><p>"H….he's dead?"</p><p>Grissom nodded looking at me. I let his hands go standing I walked over to the window then back again. He stood watching me walk around. I put my hand to my head then I slid down to the ground trying to breathe. Grissom knelt down pulling me against him.</p><p>I went back to work a week later. I just wanted to bury myself in work. Nick and I went to work at a scene. A woman shivered by an ambulance with a blanket around her. Brass walked over to her.</p><p>"There is a man inside dead. That woman killed him because he tried to attack her." He said</p><p>I looked back at the woman wiping tears away from her eyes. Nick looked at me then at Brass.</p><p>"You coming?" Nick asked</p><p>"Um….give me a minute." I said, walking over to the woman. She looked at me as I put my case down. Brass walked over standing next to me. "I am Sara Sidle from the crime lab."</p><p>She nodded looking at me and Brass.</p><p>"Do you mind if I take some pictures of you?" I asked, opening my case getting out my camera.</p><p>She slowly lowered the blanket and looked down letting me take some photos. She shook as I snapped a few pictures. I walked over looking at her arms taking some pictures of her bruises. I cleaned under her fingernails. I put the blanket around her as she sniffed.</p><p>"I'm sorry this happened." I said</p><p>"Thank you." She said</p><p>I nodded getting my case walking back to the house. I went back to the lab working on the case. Grissom walked in to the break room seeing me sitting in the corner on the floor with a cup of coffee crying. He walked over kneeling down on the floor touching my leg. I put down my cup next to me sighing.</p><p>"I have been sitting here….thinking about this case."</p><p>"Nick told me."</p><p>"This woman….killed this man because he attacked her. It just hit me….seeing her." I said, wiping my eyes. "I started thinking about…..my situation and I should have fought back. This woman was stronger than I was."</p><p>He rubbed my leg. I moved forwards putting my arms around his neck. He kissed my head. I sat back wiping my eyes looking at him. He took my hands rubbing them.</p><p>Grissom looked at me as I slept next to him. He slowly got up out of bed and walked out to his desk opening up the bottom drawer pulling out a small metal safe. He put the key in opening it seeing the small black box he needed.</p><p>"Grissom?" I called out, coming out seeing him turn looking at me.</p><p>"Did I wake you?"</p><p>"No, I just woke up not seeing you." I said, rubbing my eyes.</p><p>He came over standing in front of me.</p><p>"Sara, I've been saving something for a long time." He said "My mother gave me her engagement ring and I had it fitted to your finger."</p><p>I blinked watching him lift this small black box up to me. He opened it showing a diamond ring with two sapphires on both sides. I watched him take the ring out of the box putting it on the desk then he took my left hand putting the ring on my finger. I stared at it then I looked at him.</p><p>"Sara, will you marry me?" He asked</p><p>"Grissom….I…." I said, or started to as I looked back at the ring. "I don't know what to say."</p><p>"Say yes." He said</p><p>I backed up taking the ring off handing it to him.</p><p>"You don't want to marry me."</p><p>"Why not?" He asked</p><p>"Because I….am unstable. I can be moody and with my family history…I don't deserve you."</p><p>"Sara, I love you and I don't care what happened in the past." He said</p><p>I backed away shaking my head.</p><p>"I…love you to, but I can't do this. I'm going back home."</p><p>I ran back into the bedroom packing my things. Grissom just stood there with the ring in his hand.</p><p>He didn't see me at all for a week because I was avoiding him. At home I got rid of Hank's things and threw them out with the trash. Grissom deliberately got into my way at work a week later. I sighed as he blocked my path in the hallway.</p><p>"You're avoiding me." He said</p><p>"I just need time to think." I said</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Grissom, I am not a good person. You just need to forget me." I said, trying to walk past.</p><p>"What if I don't want to?" He said</p><p>I looked down not saying anything.</p><p>"What if I can't?"</p><p>He watched me look at the floor saying nothing.</p><p>"You're scared." He said</p><p>"I am scared." I said, looking at him. "I am always thinking what if you become just like….Hank?"</p><p>"Sara, you know I would never be like him."</p><p>He looked over seeing two people walk by as he came closer.</p><p>"I will give you space and time, but I hope you eventually realize that I do love you and all I want to do is protect you."</p><p>I watched him walk by me feeling my heart pumping in my chest. True to his word he did give me space.</p><p>A week later he and I both were going to a scene. The car ride was tense since we did not talk the entire time. Grissom looked at me as he parked outside of the bar. I looked at him then we got out. We entered building hearing some drunk men to the right making sounds at seeing me. Brass was standing in front of them telling them to shut up.</p><p>"Hey, lady!" One called "How about I give you a tour?"</p><p>I turned looking at them sniggering.</p><p>"How about I give you a tour in my pants?" The other one said</p><p>"Shut up!" Brass said</p><p>I set my case down starting at them.</p><p>"Oh looks like you've turned her on." One on the left said.</p><p>They whispered something laughing as they looked at me. I walked over as Grissom watched. Brass put his arm out to stop me.</p><p>"What did you say to him?" I asked</p><p>The one leaned forwards making kissing noises with his mouth. I felt enraged as he continued. I struggled against Brass trying to get them. One of the men reached over touching my breast and I went for it. I slapped the one in the face knocking him backwards.</p><p>"Gil!" Brass shouted</p><p>Grissom came over pulling me away as Brass and some officers pulled the men out the door. I breathed in and out fast as he pulled me over to a chair in the corner. He then walked out to where Brass went. I could not catch my breath. Grissom came back in kneeling down in front of me telling me to take some deep breaths. I reached out grabbing his hand as I struggled.</p><p>"Calm down." Grissom said "It's okay."</p><p>I tried, but nothing worked. Grissom sighed pulling me against him. He pressed my head against his chest.</p><p>"Listen to my heartbeat."</p><p>Brass came in walking over. I faintly heard them talking over my breathing. A blanket was put over me and a bottle of water appeared. Grissom held me to him as Brass called the lab.</p><p>"Just calm down." He said</p><p>I slowly started to breathe. Grissom lifted the bottled water to my mouth and I drank. He put it down holding me again. I closed my eyes putting my hand to my face. He took me home after Greg and Nick came to the rescue. I laid under a blanket on the couch as he walked over laying down beside me. I wrapped my arms around him pulling myself closer.</p><p>"You okay?" He asked</p><p>"I think so." I said</p><p>He smoothed my hair back.</p><p>"I really messed up today." I said</p><p>"That guy deserved it." He said</p><p>"You usually give me a lecture." I said, looking at him.</p><p>"I think this time we will forget the lecture."</p><p>I leaned over kissing him. He kissed me slowly. I moved back putting my head against his chest. He closed his eyes putting his head against mine.</p><p>"Grissom?" I said, muffled.</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"Do you still want to marry me?"</p><p>He opened his eyes moving me back to look at him.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Can we do it soon?"</p><p>"Sara, are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>He sat up standing quickly pulling me up.</p><p>"Let's go."</p><p>"Now?" I asked</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>I let him lead me to the door quickly looking at me then we went out. The next shift he and I walked into the lab as a married couple. He went to his office as I walked to the locker room getting my things for work.</p><p>I helped Greg and Nick while Grissom went to a meeting. At break time I walked over to his office seeing him alone talking on his phone. He looked over at me standing in the doorway.</p><p>"Okay….I'll see you then." He said, before hanging the phone up. "What are you doing?"</p><p>"Nothing." I said, smiling.</p><p>"Come here." He said</p><p>I came in closing the door walking over to his desk. He took my hand pulling me down over his lap. He kissed me slowly then moved back touching my cheek.</p><p>"You look tired." He said</p><p>"I am. It must be because I didn't get much sleep last night." I said</p><p>He smiled holding me.</p><p>"I keep thinking this is a dream." He said</p><p>"Me to, but like it or not it's real."</p><p>"I am glad it is." He said, kissing me.</p><p>I laughed as he kissed my neck then I got up leaving.</p>
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